Ask the Old Bag, December 2016
Dec 05, 2016 09:46AM ● By Gayle Lagman-Creswick
Dear Old Bag: I have read the “Old Bag’s Rules for Casual Dating.” I know some men who use it, but I have yet to meet a woman who likes it. We grew up in an age when your date paid for you, and it’s embarrassing to me to be asked to pay my own way. I sure wish you would amend your rules! Signed, Old Fashioned
Dear Old Fashioned: These rules were born basically for two reasons: 1) Many women had written me that when they go out with a guy and he pays, he expects “benefits.” 2) Guys wrote to me saying they would like to date more but can’t afford it. So the rules for casual dating were born. Concentrate on the word “casual”—and they are also optional! What does the Old Bag know about you and your dating buddies? At any rate, I don’t care what you do. It should be between you and your date. However, it’s nice to know the arrangement ahead of time. OB
Dear Old Bag: First of all, I love your column. I have been reading the letters about people and their gay children and or grandchildren. What is wrong with you people? God created these kids of ours. I am a Christian, but I am smart enough to know the Bible is a book of stories written back before they knew what toilet paper was. Your children and grandchildren are a mixture of the DNA of you and your husband. Did you ever stop to think it’s your fault, not theirs or God’s? Blame science. They are people for heaven’s sake! I have a gay daughter. God does not make junk! The love I have for my daughter outweighs any opinions I may have about her lifestyle. She is no different than you and me. She is a human being and deserves love and respect like anyone else. What if it were you? Signed KM
Dear KM: Thank you for writing! This topic has drawn lots of letters, both for and against acceptance of alternative lifestyles and sexual orientation. I am all for family unity, and that requires lots of acceptance and love in every family. If your attitude breaks up family unity, I say rethink what you want the results of your attitude to be. Do you want family unity or to create a situation where people do not speak to each other, or other more covert behaviors? OB
Dear Old Bag: I have been following your column for some time and I know you always say, “Don’t give advice to your adult children unless they ask, and then only very carefully.” I agree with this advice, but we have a situation that I believe requires intervention from someone—perhaps me. My grandson is 15 years old and is way out of hand. They say he has a bad temper. I think it’s far worse. He might be bipolar. I am afraid he is going to hurt someone if something is not done to help him. I read your book—you have had similar experiences with a family member. What can I do? Signed, Helpless
Dear Helpless: If you truly believe that someone is in danger, you need to try to intervene. I suggest you get help from a professional, who can guide you on this path, to talk to the child’s parents. I wish you the best in results. It’s sad to say that sometimes nothing will be done until a crisis occurs. OB