Although I read and hear about the value of aging in place, I just don’t buy it. We change throughout our lives, and our lifestyle and housing needs change, too.

Think about the house you grew up in, your first apartment and your first home with children. Just as those living situations fit your lifestyle in the past, your current housing situation should be a good fit for where you are now.

Moving forward for this next phase of life should take you to a setting that’s smaller and more manageable, with less responsibility for maintenance and upkeep. Seek out housing options that offer support and assistance if necessary, along with opportunities for engagement and interaction with others.

By making the right choice about your next home, you free up time and energy to devote to your favorite people and activities so you can make the most of the coming years.

Change your mindset

Why do so many people cling to their houses when they would be better served by moving forward? One key reason is that a house is often closely associated with independence. As a society, we tend to overvalue independence, and as a result, too many seniors spend way too much time, energy and money trying to age in place and hang on to a false sense of self-reliance.

It’s time to shift our mindset to one that embraces interdependence. We’re always better and stronger when we connect with others than when we try to go it alone. There are so many benefits to being part of a connected community and having readily available companionship and support.

Drop the rock!

Letting go of a familiar home can be difficult and stressful, but hanging on can lead to loneliness and isolation, which are detrimental to your health and successful aging.

Here’s a story I often use to illustrate the danger of hanging on when it’s time to let go:

A woman was swimming across a lake with a rock in her hand. As she neared the center of the lake, she started to sink from the weight of the stone.

“Drop the rock!” shouted people watching from the shore.

But the woman kept swimming, slowly disappearing underwater. As she reached the middle of the lake and disappeared from sight for the last time, the people on shore heard her say, “I can’t. It’s mine.”

Housing that no longer fits a stockpile of belongings and outdated roles and responsibilities will start bringing us down if we don’t release them. Is it time to drop the rocks in your life?

The gift that keeps on giving

Choosing to let go and move forward can be a wonderful gift to your family. When my parents decided to right-size, they gave me a tremendous gift by thinking through how they wanted to live out their later years and relieving me of the burden of making tough decisions for them.

I’ve helped with a number of moves, and people always look more energized once the weight of the decision and the responsibilities that come with a large house have been removed from their shoulders. They thrive in their new environments because they are spending their new free time on enjoyable activities and new experiences and engaging in life more fully.