If you’re like me, you’ve noticed something missing in your mailbox the past couple decades.

Mixed among the bills, ads and junk mail was the occasional hand-addressed envelope that stood out like a special treasure. You’d drop all other mail and excitedly open it first—the personal thank you note. Remember those days? What used to be a token of gratitude and thoughtfulness is now a thing of the past.

With the advent of email, text messaging and social media, our communication has become impersonal and shallow. “Thank you” has been abbreviated to “Thx” all for the sake of time. Where one email looks like the next, the small effort behind a hand-written note gives a personal, thoughtful touch and tells the receiver they matter.

Also unlike texts or emails, you can hold personal thank you notes in your hands, reliving a happy moment or recapturing an embrace. While emails and texts are usually read and deleted, thank you notes have lasting value—sitting on counters like a generous smile that can be read and reread.

Some people I know just naturally get it. They understand that sending a personal note is the right thing to do. It’s a way of returning kindness with kindness. To others, writing a thank you note is a foreign concept. I’ve heard many friends comment about not even knowing if wedding, birthday or baby shower gifts have been received due to lack of acknowledgment.

Where have we gone wrong? Why do so few people send thank you notes anymore?

The most common excuse is not having the materials at hand. I follow one blogger who said she’s considering giving a box of thank you cards and a roll of stamps as future wedding gifts.

Another excuse is not having time. While hand-written notes may take a minute or two longer than sending off a text, you can’t put a value on their benefits.

Some people think it’s the new normal, but some of us think it’s lazy and rude. It’s all about priorities.

Studies show that penning a thank you note is a good way to lift the receiver’s spirits as well as your own. Showing gratitude is good for self-esteem and benefits your physical and psychological health. Handwritten, personal notes speak volumes—they can strengthen relationships or turn an acquaintance into a friend.

Thank you notes are for more than just receiving a gift. It warms my heart when I receive thank you notes from dear friends for unsolicited help at a garage sale, a fun evening at dinner or for just being their friend. No email could ever take the place of that personal touch.

Is there hope for reviving this intimate act of appreciation? As seniors, are we being good role models of supporting a lost etiquette by writing thank you notes ourselves? Modeling gratitude is one of the most special gifts we can give children. The impact of living by example will cause thankfulness to grow in their hearts.

Every day can be special when you count your blessings and cultivate gratitude, not just at Thanksgiving. By sending a personal thank you.