It's okay if you're holidays don't go exactly as planned.

With the holidays quickly approaching, you may feel excited, anxious, full of anticipation, organized or maybe completely unhinged! We can all use a reminder this time of year that Norman Rockwell isn’t coming over for dinner, so it’s okay if the holidays don’t go exactly as you planned.

Instead, brace yourself for the aunt who talks too much, the uncle who drinks too much, your in-laws who argue with everyone about anything, grandchildren who kick each other under the table, and nieces and nephews whose new eating habits don’t include anything you’ve prepared.

Accept that your family is very un-Rockwell-like, yet full of oddities, funny memories and a lot of surprises. Carrying around the Rockwell image of a holiday will destroy your ability to enjoy the one that is uniquely yours.

Expectation check-in

It’s time to check in with reality and adjust your holiday expectations:

• Know that expectations are distractions that keep you from appreciating the holidays. They can be emotionally draining and create unnecessary drama. Set aside your expectations and enjoy your holiday!

• The secret to happiness is low expectations. That way, you’re always pleasantly surprised.

• Life is unpredictable, so why would the holidays be any different?

“The Four Agreements, A Practical Guide to Personal Freedom” by Don Miguel Ruiz explains that we create a lot of “emotional poison” through expectations.

“All the sadness and drama you have lived in your life was rooted in making assumptions and taking things personally,” Ruiz writes.

In other words, if we don’t change our holiday expectations, we’re basically asking for it.

Maybe what we all need is to change our ridiculously high-pressure expectations and self-talk. Instead of thinking “The house has to be perfect. I must buy the best gifts and create a gourmet meal with everyone getting along,” try rewriting your beliefs about the holidays so you can love them as they are—even if they are a little untraditional.

Untraditional traditions

When her sons were growing up, Erin Chapman learned to adapt to her firefighter husband Tom's irregular holiday schedule. Some Christmas dinners were shared at the fire station with the other firefighters. On Christmas Day, Tom would run home for a short time to see the boys open their presents while someone else covered for him.

Now that both sons live in Colorado Springs, marriage, in-laws and winter road conditions add a new twist.

“At first I hated the every-other-year thing and sharing with my daughter-in-law's parents,” said Chapman, 60. “It broke my heart.”

But over time, they’ve gotten creative on ways to spend time together around the holidays, sometimes with Papa Murphy’s pizza and Domino's carry out.

When their son Travis couldn’t be home for Christmas, Erin and Tom video chatted with him as he opened his gifts. Another year, while visiting in Colorado Springs, the family gathered for a picture in front of the hotel’s Christmas tree.

“It’s about being together—that’s all that matters,” said Erin. “I still love the holidays but have definitely had to lower my expectations. It’s a lot calmer, which I think makes things more enjoyable for everyone.”

8 tips for stress-free holidays

1. Take a step back and manage your expectations. Enjoy the moment.

2. Spend time with loved ones. Use that time to create lasting impressions and memories you’ll reminisce about in future years.

3. Set a budget. Thoughtful gifts can mean a lot without costing much.

4. The holiday season is about giving. As a family, give back and volunteer at a soup kitchen or collect food, toys and clothes to donate.

5. Anticipate conflict and drama. But don’t let it ruin the day.

6. Start new traditions. This keeps the holidays alive and expectations in perspective. Your holiday memories are YOURS to create.

7. Delegate. Don’t be afraid to ask for help. Taking on too much during the holidays can create a lot of unnecessary stress.

8. Be realistic and flexible. The holidays aren’t like in the movies. Just take a deep breath and enjoy them.