Do’s and don’ts for rekindling romance

Has your bedroom lost its touch? Does it seem like the same dull routine every time you head to what was once a magical lair? After being together for a while, that once yearned-for familiarity turns into a longing for the unexpected. So why not give your room a lift?

According to the ancient Chinese philosophy of Feng Shui, your surroundings play a significant role in the quality of your love life. While some of this philosophy may be rooted in superstition, there’s no question that one’s environment plays a crucial role in our moods and desires.

Incorporate pleasures in your bedroom for all your senses to savor—from romantic sounds, sensual sights and exquisite touchables, to savory tastes and aromatic fragrances. Try some of these ideas and transform your humdrum room into a lover’s lane.

Aromatherapy

Aroma is an essential ingredient in creating the right mood. Choose from many fragrant scents that come in a variety of forms—from incense, sprays and candles, to cologne and scented body lotions.

For a lasting fragrance, lightly spray your favorite cologne on the sheets for a fresh, inviting scent. Open the windows and let the fresh breeze whisper through to enhance your room. Or, set out a box of gourmet chocolates. The aroma of chocolate alone is a great aphrodisiac.

Fresh cut flowers are a delightful addition. Try different types to determine which have lingering scents. But too much fragrance is bothersome to some men. Strive for a pleasant aroma that isn’t overpowering. If your partner is sensitive or allergic to perfume, forego it altogether.

An irresistible vision

Men are most stimulated visually, so they want to see the woman they’re with. Play this up, and you’re bound to hold his heart.

Everyone looks their personal best in particular colors—and those colors may not necessarily be red or black. Choose colors that draw out your natural beauty. There are several books available to assist in finding the colors and shades that best compliment you. Drape different colors over your shoulders to determine how they affect your appearance. You’ll likely find some colors make you look drab, while others bring out your true radiance.

Choose eye-pleasing fabrics. Flannel is not so likely to be a hit, but men find clingy or shiny clothing irresistible.

Don’t forget the lingerie. Many men love it. Keep in mind, though, all men have different tastes. Ask your partner what styles or articles of clothing do it for him.

It’s all in the music

Music is also essential to setting the mood. It helps couples relax, which is perfect after a hard day at work or for breaking the silence. Avoid loud rock, country or hip-hop music, which can be a real distraction (unless, of course, these have the opposite effect on your mate). Try some of these favorite albums for setting the mood:

• Anything by Jon Secada (vocal)

• John Legend’s “Love in the Future” (R&B)

• Kenny G’s “Breathless” (jazz)

• Luther Vandross’ “Best of Love 2”

• Anything by Celine Dion (vocal)

• Adele’s “21” (vocal, pop)

• Chris Botti’s “Slowing Down the World” (jazz, vocal/instrumental)

• Mark Whitfield’s “Forever Love” (jazz, instrumental)

• Raphael/Intimacy: “Music for Love” (contemporary/new age, piano)

• Andrea Bocelli’s “Love in Portofino” (classical, opera)

• The Romantics’ “A Windham Hill Sampler” (new age, instrumental)

• Michael Bublé’s “To Be Love” (vocal, pop)

• Paul McCartney’s “Working Classical” (pop/classical, vocal/instrumental)

• Nora Jones’ “Come Away With Me” (jazz, pop)

Our cover models, Pat and Linda Howery, still madly in love after 37 years of marriage.

Spice it up

An occasional change in scenery creates interest. For example, try a purple, blue or red light bulb for a new effect, or string white holiday lights around your window or bed frame. Add vibrantly colored satin sheets as an eye-catcher, or erotic statues, paintings or strategically placed books for added intrigue. You can also install a mirrored wall or a large mirror for a different view.

Other additions could include a bowl of delicious fruits such as strawberries, cut melons and grapes next to a bottle of chilled wine. Plus, toss a few fresh rose petals on the bed. They’ll add fragrance and are perfect for tickling, too. Finally, put a furry or soft throw rug or a comfortable armchair in your room for added coziness.

Do's and don’ts

 Don’t be caught without these necessities. Make sure you have a nightstand or small chest next to the bed to eliminate unnecessary fumbling. 

You also want a firm, comfortable mattress, good box springs and a solid bed frame for comfort and quietness. Put soft quality (fresh!) sheets, a lightweight comforter and fluffy pillows on your neatly made bed for relaxing and lingering. Occasionally, change the furniture arrangement to keep the environment feeling new.

In contrast, you want to avoid mood-killing common bedroom mistakes. Television in your bedroom is a definite no-no. This passive individual activity is sure to destroy the allure of your bedroom as a place for intimacy.

Both bright lights and no lights can detract from the moment. Your partner definitely wants to see you, yet doesn’t want to be under a spotlight. Use a small bedside lamp with a low watt bulb for soft lighting. Candles also make a romantic substitute.

Keep exercise equipment in any place but in your bedroom. The thought of a sweaty gym isn’t exactly an aphrodisiac.

Decorate in ways that appeal to both of you. An atmosphere that’s either too masculine or too feminine can destroy your or your partner’s mood.

Finally, keep clutter hidden. A messy room is a reminder of work that needs to be done.