We live in an age of addiction and dysfunctional personalities. Every day, lives and families are shattered by drug abuse, gambling, pornography, alcoholism and more. Some people have anger issues, lashing out at loved ones. Others have mental health issues yet refuse to seek help. These challenges take a toll on friendships and relationships—requiring a lot of patience and work to maintain.

Sometimes we hang in there because we believe it’s the right thing to do. We try to stick with our kids and be there when they need us. We stand by aging parents out of love and duty. We stay with a spouse or significant other out of love or a commitment to see life through to the end.

Most of us don’t walk away unless someone’s actions become unbearable—when they are cruel, destructive or causing us harm. When that happens, we face a tough decision: Can we maintain this relationship? Many try for years, but at some point, if someone is totally wrecking your life, you must confront them. If nothing changes, it may be time to step away. As Paul Simon put it, “Make a new plan, Stan.”

Ending ties with a friend or family member is never easy. It can be painful, but sometimes, for the sake of your sanity, it’s necessary. When you finally let go, relief often follows. Guilt may linger, but if you’ve done your best—extending grace, setting boundaries and trying to make it work—you can find peace in your decision.

No one enters marriage expecting divorce, but some relationships are like trying to bail water from the Titanic—it’s a losing battle. This also applies not just to spouses but also to friendships, children and even parents. 

While “nothing is impossible with God,” relationships require effort from both sides.

The old saying goes, “Winners never quit and quitters never win,” but winners also don’t keep banging their heads against a fence post. Try hard. Forgive often. Extend grace. Pray. Seek wisdom in the Bible. Get counsel. Have honest conversations. Shed tears. Even beg, if necessary. But if your life continues spiraling because of someone’s toxic behavior, it may be time to follow Simon’s advice again: “Hop on the bus, Gus, and drop off the key, Lee.” 

As a Christian, I know God never gives up on us and we shouldn’t give up on people. This doesn’t mean we must remain in destructive relationships with them or continue suffering at the hands of others.

Live in peace, joy and harmony with all people—but recognize that some battles aren’t yours to fight. Changing the course of the Mississippi River is easier than changing some people. In such cases, the best choice may be be to release them to God—and walk away.