In my opinion, a caregiver support group is the single best resource for anyone caring for a loved one with a chronic, disabling condition. And most are free.

Caregiving can be socially isolating. Neighbors often don’t understand what you’re going through. You spend more time at home or at appointments and less time with friends. Support groups help fill that gap. 

I’ve heard many attendees say, “I’m finally with people who understand what I’m going through!” That understanding relieves feelings of self-blame, reduces the frequency of losing our temper and eases the urge to run away. You learn to place the blame on the situation or the disease—not on yourself or your loved one.

More experienced caregivers often share what they’ve tried, what worked, what didn’t and what they would do differently. You’ll also hear about valuable resources you might not discover on your own—such as the Area Agency on Aging, home care providers, social workers and helpful books. You may even make friends. 

Some caregivers continue attending groups even after their loved one has passed, choosing to support others.

FIND THE RIGHT FIT

You may need to try a few groups before finding the right fit. 

A skilled facilitator makes a big difference. Most have been caregivers themselves or are social workers. While their knowledge matters, their primary role is to guide the discussion so everyone has a chance to speak and the group starts and ends on time.

The best groups share experiences, not instructions. Advice about what you should do is not helpful. It rarely works for everyone because every caregiving situation is unique. If you’re unsure about joining, consider meeting the facilitator for coffee beforehand.

Groups vary in schedule and format. For example, the Alzheimer’s Association Colorado chapter offers 90-minute sessions once a month, while the Caregiver Support Foundation meets twice a month for an hour. Some meet in person, others online. Sometimes it can be hard to leave the house. That’s where virtual meetings are helpful.

Attendance is usually flexible. Some caregivers come only when a pressing issue arises; others rarely miss a meeting. 

SEEK HELP EARLY

Some people hesitate to share emotions with strangers. Many new caregivers resist joining because they believe they can handle everything themselves. 

But most caregivers eventually hit a wall. Attending a group early on can improve outcomes and reduce stress. Sometimes all it takes is a coffee invitation from another caregiver to open the door.

WHERE TO START

• Find more support groups in October's E-Edition, pages 42 (Mesa County) and 46 (Montrose & Delta).
• Caregiver Support Foundation: Family-Caregiver.org
• Alzheimer’s Association: 800-272-3900

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