What ladybugs taught me about aging, change and finding peace in growing older

Apr 27, 2026 12:33PM ● By Sandra Wise

Twenty years ago, I found some insects on my apple tree. Fearing they would harm my fruit harvest, I immediately killed them all. Days later, I discovered that I had destroyed dozens of ladybugs in their larval stage. I didn’t recognize them because they looked nothing like the tiny, polka-dot beetles I would have gladly welcomed into my garden to devour aphids and other pests.

I was horrified. That mistake sent me on a path of learning about the developmental stages of insects, reptiles and other mammals. In the process, it also reshaped the way I think about aging and brought me a deeper sense of peace with my own.

Humans change gradually from infancy to old age, but our basic structure, features and personality remain much the same. We can look at photos taken decades apart and still see ourselves. That continuity gives us a strong sense of identity.

Many living things, however, develop in a completely different way.

Some undergo complete metamorphosis, a dramatic four-stage transformation from egg to larva to pupa to adult. Ladybugs, for example, begin as tiny yellow eggs. They hatch into little alligator-like larvae, then become immobile pupae before emerging as the familiar spotted beetles we admire.

Imagine if humans changed that way, becoming entirely different creatures at each stage of life, with new appearances, behaviors and environments, only to emerge in all our glory at the very end.

Instead, we grow through a slow, steady process of change. I’ve come to see that as a blessing. It gives us time to adjust, adapt and compensate when needed, while still allowing us to remain essentially ourselves. Despite the physical signs of aging, I know I am still me.

I’ve learned that no living thing stays the same throughout its life. Trying to resist that truth is an exercise in futility. Change is the model, and yes, that includes decline. But there is comfort in knowing what to expect, in knowing we are not alone and in knowing that growing older is a fate we all share.

I am at peace with that.

What I still struggle to understand is society’s view of aging. Why do we celebrate the final stage of a butterfly’s or a ladybug’s transformation as the height of its development, yet so often try to hide or deny the final stage of our own?

It’s worth thinking about.

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