After five years of winters in Wisconsin and Minnesota, my husband Peter and I started researching warm-weather places to retire abroad. Europe topped our list, even as we learned that some countries, including parts of Scandinavia, the United Kingdom and Switzerland, were either difficult to access for Americans or too expensive to consider.

We weren’t new to living overseas. During our working years, Peter, a college professor, and I, a journalist, lived abroad twice, once in the United Arab Emirates and later in Vietnam. 

We loved our time in the capital cities of both countries, largely because there were organizations and informal networks that helped connect newcomers. We quickly met fellow expats who, like us, were looking to maximize their adventures overseas. 

So when we moved to Setúbal, Portugal, in January 2025, I expected to be embraced with the same acceptance and support. 

Instead, our third time living abroad was not the charm. Many of the retired expats we met weren’t connected to any organized group, and without that social structure, it was harder to settle in.

The social piece was just part of it. We struggled to open a bank account. The process of pursuing dual citizenship was lengthy, expensive and confusing. We also sensed the environment tightening for expats as policies shifted and restrictions increased. 

After three months, we decided to leave.

I tried to feel more hopeful than disappointed. We had spent nearly two years researching Portugal, learning common phrases and building online connections with other Midwestern transplants. Still, we couldn’t navigate the bureaucracy that comes with an international move, at least not in a way that felt right for retirement.

 For three months they lived in Setúbal, Portugal, a former sardine canning village 50 minutes southwest of Lisbon. 

 Looking back, we should have hired an immigration attorney to handle the paperwork. We also should have taken multiple scouting trips to explore cities and neighborhoods and sought advice from recent transplants, not just people who had moved years earlier under different rules.

A BEAUTIFUL GOODBYE

Once we decided to return to the U.S., we tried to end our time in Portugal on a better note. With a couple of short trips, we squeezed in the kind of travel we had imagined during the planning stage.

We took a bus to nearby Palmela and ate lunch at a mountaintop castle-turned-boutique hotel. We rode the train to Coimbra, a university city built atop a mountain, and listened to a traditional Fado concert filled with aching songs of love and loss. We visited Porto, a UNESCO-listed city known for port wine, azulejo tiles and its scenic Douro River waterfront. Our last foray was a train trip south to the Algarve, where we played padel, a European racket sport similar to pickleball, and walked the beach with a college friend and her husband.

Portugal turned out to be a beautiful place to visit, just not the right place for us to live.

Still, I wrestled with the emotions of moving back to America. I tried to convince myself that I felt relieved and hopeful, not discouraged and embarrassed that our plans had fallen apart. That mindset didn’t come easily. It took months before I accepted the old wisdom that when one door closes, another opens.

 The Thompsons pose on Lisbon's famed Pink Street in February 2025. 

 STARTING OVER

With our belongings safely stored in Minnesota and two suitcases each, our priority was getting healthy again before searching for our next home. We left Lisbon with deep, rattling coughs, likely from mold in our heatless flat or Setúbal’s torrential spring rains. After we landed back in the U.S., we spent a month in Arizona, determined to find a happier, healthier and more sustainable place to retire.

To narrow our options, I made a pro-and-con list built around what mattered most to us: community, classes, culture, church and connections. Around that time, I read a New York Times article that described the ingredients for a life with more “flourish”: good health, financial security and strong relationships.

Those became our guideposts.

After exploring parts of Arizona and New Mexico, we decided to try Colorado. The reasons were immediate and, in some cases, surprising: the views, the range of cultural and outdoor activities, the relatively mild climate and the opportunities to get involved.

Getting connected happened quickly. I joined local clubs and volunteer with several organizations around town. I play pickleball and golf, practice yoga, cycle, hike and keep my calendar full. I also contribute regularly to BEACON Senior News and meet with a writing group that helped me shape this piece.

A FULL-CIRCLE MOMENT

Peter and I genuinely love living here, largely because of the people we’ve met. They’ve been friendly, open and welcoming.

Last October, we celebrated our 20th wedding anniversary with a weeklong trip to Hawaii. We laughed at the irony of our story. In 2005, we honeymooned at The Broadmoor, the same place my parents chose in 1957. Two decades later, we now live about a mile east of the world-famous resort.

And I don’t plan to wait another 20 years to enjoy it.

Soon, across a table there, we’ll likely toast the twist that brought us here, and the relief of finally knowing we chose the right place to retire.  

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